I frequently get into trouble when I say this. Bear with me though and I think you’ll agree.
If you have anxiety, flashbacks, trauma, pain, or lingering emotional hurt of any kind that comes from the past, then I’d like you to consider this question:
Who’s fault is it?
The odds are you’ve thought about that before. Maybe someone did something to you, maybe life was unfair, maybe you blame your parents, perhaps it’s because of experiences at school…
Next question… is that thing, or are those people here now? Is it ongoing?
If not, they may be the starting point of your problems, but they are not the solution.
The tough reality is, if you’re suffering here and now, only you can choose to make things better. (this is usually the point where I’m accused of victim blaming).
The truth is that blame has no place here because it doesn’t help, it only serves to keep us in the mire of bad feeling.
What made me very angry when I was anxious and depressed, was the suggestion that it was up to me to change. It hurt. It implied that it was somehow my fault and that it was my responsibility that I was staying as I was.
As I said, lay the blame aside. It’s of no use. The only question should be:
‘What can I do today to make things better?’
You don’t have to know the answer, just to start looking for it.
When I was suffering severe anxiety and depression, I was waiting for my life to change. It didn’t until I changed.